W: "I just want to go to a bar, black out, and yell facts about the Donner Party at people."
Me: "Ah, like my President McKinley party trick. I mean, I enjoyed it. I'm not sure if other people did."
W: "Yeah, you were really obsessed."
Me: "I don't know. It gave me something to care about."
So, King Puzzle visited every presidential gravesite. He paid his respects to President McKinley for me. I don't know what I would say if I actually went to his tomb.
"Hi there. You were really important to me at a time when I needed a lifeline. I'm sorry that you did not fit into the X-ray machine that Thomas Edison himself tried to save you with. But we all appreciate the valiant effort you made to keep us on the gold standard. I wish I could have known you. You had a nervous breakdown in your first year of college and then jumped the queue and became a lawyer without a degree. You survived the Battle of Antietam. You deserved better. I haven't been to Hawaii, but I'm glad I have the option. Thank you. Amen."
Oh, side-fact: in Great Men Are Free Men, Charlie wonders if anyone knows what the B stands for in Rutherford B. Hayes (President McKinley's commanding officer and political mentor). Well, here's the answer: